Monday, June 22, 2009


I am sitting in a parking lot in Troutdale. There are 5 trucks with horse trailers lined up ready to head out on an adventure. Couples with their horses, headed out to…?? On a wonderful summer weekend ~ who cares, just headed out.

I remember getting ready to go on a camping trip, the feeling something wonderful was about to happen. As a child we had a travel trailer, everyone else had tents. We on the other hand had a self contained trailer. Boy, were we high tech!

I remember you had to pump the water at the sink to build pressure and then you would have running water. Well until it ran down and then you’d have to pump it again.

The toilet had the indigo blue chemical, as a kid I always thought that was cool. Of course there were rules for the toilet, don’t use it unless you have to. For sure the restroom visits that required something we would now call solid waste, were taboo. “Go to the campground outhouse if you are going to do that!”

Being a city kid I loved getting out into nature. Since my father and his friends were fishing nuts, there was no shortage of opportunities for camping trips; notice I didn’t say fishing trips. You see us girls were left to our own devices back at camp. The men and boys headed out to the boat dock with tackle boxes, fishing vests, poles, nets and cooler. I saw what went into that lunchbox, yummy stuff. Saltine crackers, Tillamook cheese, summer sausage, and in my Dad’s case, a six pack of Oly. Off they’d go and we would see them later in the day all sunburned and smiling, and usually carrying a string of trout.
What did we “girls” do while the men were off being “hunter gatherers”? Well, let’s see we washed up the dishes from breakfast, straightened up the camp, hung damp dish towels out to dry and in our case, tided up the trailer. If it was cool we kept the fire pit going. I had the child care detail and spent most of the day watching my sisters and finding ways to keep them entertained. With hikes, and exploring nature that really wasn’t so hard. Of course there were naps for them in the afternoon, a time when the teenagers would head out in search of great adventure. Unbounded energy and enthusiasm, the gifts of youth.

Somehow the food always tasted better, the air was clear and sweet. Birds sang, chipmunks scolded and made us laugh at their antics. The hawks lazily circling overhead, their sharp whistling call echoing through the forest. Sometimes there were those cute little green tree frogs.

In the evening there would be the communal camp dinner. Sharing tables, potato salad, pan friend trout, cantaloupe, garlic bread, and yummy homemade cookies somebody’s mom made. And later after dinner and dishes, we would roast marshmallows over the campfire.

We always had a kid’s only tent for bedtime. I remember crawling in my sleeping bag and falling fast asleep. Between you and the hard earth was an air mattress that may or may not hold air all through the night. But sleep was deep and peaceful.

I am glad I had those times. The days spent together camping seemed to bring function to what I often considered a dysfunctional family. Good memories, happy times.

So with a wistful smile I watched the campers drive out of the parking lot. Five vehicles, people and their horses headed to fun and adventure. “Have a good time” I mentally waved. Thanks for reminding me of a special childhood memory.

Suddenly I have a craving for S’mores ;o)

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

I'll never get old LIKE THAT!!!


I’ll never get old LIKE THAT!!!!

Today is the day I can officially go online and sign up for my Social Security Retirement Benefits. In three months I will be 62.

Good Lord how did this happen?? As I write this I am looking through little reading glasses and hold on ~ you aren’t going believe this ~ they are hung around my neck on one of those strings old ladies and bookkeepers wear!! No offense to bookkeepers but I never intended to be an old lady. I can so clearly remember when I was a teenager; looking at my parents who were what 45??? And thinking I’ll never get old like that! I won’t ever let myself go and have a wide waist, wrinkles, and for sure no turkey neck hangin’ down. I’ll always have a bounce to my step, stamina, strength, and grace.

What was I thinking? What did I think was going to happen? I should have been suspicious when my first invitation to join AARP came on my 50th birthday.. But I didn’t heed the warning. I was walking straight into old womanhood. It was so sly I never saw it coming. Oh sure the skin under my upper arms had started to wave, even when I wasn’t. The hair that had been intentionally blonde had been allowed to become it’s natural white. It was no longer “she’s the blonde over there” it had become “she’s the lady over there with the gray hair”.

Somehow physical yard work, that had once been easily mastered, was now a chore. A chore that at times, was more than I could sustain and complete.

Words began eluding me. I’d try and explain a thought and lose the precise language I wanted to use. “It sounds like, it’s like, oh you know.” What the heck? Part of my brain, along with many body parts was already headed towards the road to retirement.

I have noticed “old people” behavior slipping into my life. Things like “I don’t like to drive at night” and “is there a smaller portion of this meal?” Yep me and the little kiddies eat on the lighter side now. Oh this is a good one, I start questioning “do I really need to go to the restroom? Or is it because I’m old and I think I need to??” You Seniors get my drift.

I don’t hear quite as well , climb stairs as quickly, and I sure as heck don’t see as well. NO! NO! NO!
Talk about shock and awe. I still can’t believe I am the same age as my grandparents when I was growing up. Gosh they were old. I have used up way more time than I have left. And by the way what did I do with what I used up?? It’s like I was given a bag of golden days when I got here and now it’s ¾ gone. Not only that, I can’t tell you what I spent most of those golden days on, amazing… grace.
My friend Cheryl sent me an article today and in it was a quote, lyrics actually, by Willie Nelson. They seem to sum up my feelings right now so I’d like to share these words of wisdom by Zen Master Willie.
Nothin’ I Can Do About It Now.
I could cry for the time I’ve wasted
But that’s a waste of time and tears,
And I know just what I’d change
If I went back in time somehow
But there’s nothing I can do about it now.